adulting

Book giveaway winners!

Y’all. Y’all. There are some fantastic adults reading this blog! I read all the entries — 800+ of them — and they were wonderful, so much so that I’ve made a new blog to celebrate them, adultbecause.com. I want to get all of them up there eventually.

Also, programming note: amazon.com sold out of books (heyyyy!), but they should be back in stock by Saturday! In the meantime, B&N has it now. 

On to the winners! This was really, really tough, and if it were up to me I would give every single one of you a copy, although my publishing company probably wouldn’t like that.

I couldn’t pick just five, so here’s the deal: There are five winners who will receive signed copies, and five runners-up whom I will send signed and inscribed bookplates to. Behold their glorious adultishness, after the jump!

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I loved the Book Giveaway entries (winners coming tomorrow!) so much that I couldn’t stand letting them languish in an old post. So here is the new project; eventually, I hope to have all 900+ entries up. Check it out, submit, go crazy! adultbecause.com

Song and chore pairing: “The Swimming Song” and putting away winter clothes

Yes, clearly, this is just an excuse to post the song that I’ve been listening to on repeat. 

But! It’s also perfect for those who are ready for a brave, metaphor-filled summer. Throw this on and then:

• Wash everything the way it wants to be washed; here’s the info on sweaters.
• Fold all your things, put them in a big flat Tupperware-style box (or anything that closes air-tight), throw in a dryer sheet or two and put it under your bed.
• Drop your heavy coats off at the dry cleaners. Not only will they come back looking new, but the cleaners will tighten any buttons and small mends that are required.

Discussion question: Why are coat buttons the WORST? They are constantly falling off, and I want to know why.

Guest entry: How to Share Your Cause or Beliefs Without Being a Total Jerk

Hi everyone! So the book came out last week and it’s been kind of a whirlwind since then, although I will say that I have achieved a life-dream, which is to utter the phrase “go look at pictures of baby otters” live on Fox News.

I’m sorting through all the book giveaway entries, and will have some winners announced by Wednesday; in the meantime, go check these answers out because oh man, you guys are so wonderfully adult and are slaying it out there.

In the meantime, here is a great guest entry from LeotardSanity:

The Internet is a great place to learn how not to have a meaningful discussion. Rather than respectfully sharing our point of view, any lengthy conversation on sensitive matters such as politics, religion, race, sexuality, or the Oxford comma quickly devolves into a lot of mudslinging and comparing those on the other side to the Third Reich. If you’re wanting anyone’s opinions to actually be swayed by the argument you present, whether on the Internet or in real life, here are some tips to remember:

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Step 303: Always have at least $20 cash on you when you fly

Actually, just have $20 cash on you, period. There is never a time when you’ll think, “Oh, man, if only this $20 bill weren’t weighing me down!” but there will be many, many, many times you’re glad you have it.

Related: I am in New York, doing book press and acting like an excitable country mouse. But mainly, I’m here for the book party, which is tonight! 7 p.m.! Housing Works Bookstore Cafe! 

BOOK DAY GIVEAWAY!

(Amaaaazing .bmp by Editor Meredith)

Adulting: THE BOOK is now in stores! Places like amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, IndieBound, Urban Outfitters and — soon — Costco!

If you read this blog you are 91.3 percent likely (science!) to enjoy the book, which is much better organized (chapters on things like cleaning! Emergencies! Family shit!), has lots of doodles and involved a lot of research.

But! If you have no money (or just like entering contests) I am doing a giveaway. Here’s the deal: Reblog or reply, via tumblr or comments, about one way you are a good adult. It doesn’t have to be big. Just something you’re good at, that you’re proud of, that maybe you don’t give yourself credit for. Five winners, chosen by me, will get signed copies of Adulting with a note congratulating them on their adult accomplishments.

I’ll start: I am really good at being there for my friends when they’re going through a tough time. Also, I own a very pretty set of chopsticks and don’t have to use the ones that come with takeout.

Update: Oh my goodness, y’all, I love these so so much. Two favorite thus far: “Instead of posting a passive aggressive status on Facebook, I approach my friends and talk to them if I feel they have treated me unfairly” and “I’m finally LISTENING to my friends instead of adding in a matching fact about myself! It only took 46 years!” Unfortunately, this giveaway is for the US only (for now!). 

See? Easy! So. What are you good at?

Step 302: Understand, deep in your bones, that if your cat brings in a dead bird, there is only one person in the world who will deal with it, and that is you.

Do you understand how impossible it is to sweep up the tiny, fingernail-sized feathers of a deceased songbird? The air generated by the broom sweeping up the other feathers sends the carefully, slowly constructed pile swirling gaily about, like disease-ridden snow. I think some landed in my hair.