How to become a grown-up in 468 easy(ish) steps.

Portland book signing: Tuesday, Sept. 17! Come and I’ll doodle you something.

Lovely readers,

I’m doing a rare book event a week from today in Portland. I guess it’s a reading, technically speaking, though I’m not sure yet what I’ll be reading. Ideally, I’d like it to be all of us confessing our adult failures, followed by swapping stain removal strategies and hookup etiquette tips, but we’ll see.

It’s happening at 7 p.m. on Tuesday, Sept. 17 at Annie Bloom’s Books, a great independent bookstore in Multnomah Village. 

So yeah, come on out, meet me and Boyfriend Dave in person and get a personalized Mean Person Jellyfish doodle.

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10th Sep 2013 54 notes , Comments

Unrepentant nerdery

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GUYS. Remember how, last year, I helped put on a giant live-action version of the Oregon Trail computer game? WELL IT IS HAPPENING AGAIN. Sept. 21, in Salem, Oregon. $30 for a team of four. Here are some rad pictures to tempt you:image

Bury the ill-fated fifth member of your wagon party, then sing a sad funeral dirge of your own invention!

imageGo hunting for college students dressed as bison with Nerf guns!

imageRaft a river of Derby girls armed with pool noodles!

And much more, including — new this year! — Miss Milly’s Saloon, Dance Parlor and Arm Wrestling Emporium. You can also pet some barnyard animals, or listen to live music or do old-timey crafts or learn about history because it takes place at a super neat museum!

Hopefully this has convinced you. Website is here; tickets are available here, and if you want to volunteer, shoot me an email at oregontrailgamelive@gmail.com

3rd Sep 2013 589 notes , Comments

Adult question: How to get cheap business clothes?

Katie asks: Where would you suggest buying cheap adultish clothing?  I have to start going on job interviews and I’m at a loss.

So your first, best bet is this: if you live in a city, chances are VERY good you have a benevolent wealthy-lady association, like the Junior League. They often run thrift shops; the one in New Orleans was my go-to spot for Ann Taylor skirts with the tags still on for $7. Goodwill and Salvation Army boutique stores are also a great bet; they’ll be more expensive than normal Goodwills, but are also better-organized and have higher quality stuff.

Remember that when it comes to work outfits, particularly if you’re 22, no one expects you to have a closetful of suits. If you can get some *nice* basics — a black pencil skirt, black pants, grey pencil skirt, navy slacks and a blazer that looks nice with all these things — then you can get a lot of milage by mixing those with cheaper tops.

Remember that dresses are great, as they are just one item of clothing, and nicer-looking/conservative accessories (think pearl studs earrings and a strand of smaller pearls) dress a lot of things up. 

Finally, nice shoes make any outfit look better. I always find a lot of Nine West/Aldo/etc. mid-priced shoes for $14 a pair at Ross.

Hope this helps!

23rd Aug 2013 492 notes , Comments

Step 312: Not all voices are equally relevant in a conversation

Remember:

If you are a member of a group that has privilege, and someone who does not have that privilege is good enough to be explaining their experience to you, just be quiet for a second and listen.

Really! Just for the duration of this conversation, you do not need to relate their experience to yours, or take apart what they are saying based on your own opinions, or dissect what this means to you or for you. It’s OK! You will survive without interjecting yourself and your thoughts on race/gender/sexuality/ability whatever into what this person is trying to tell you.

22nd Aug 2013 1,289 notes , Comments
Suggested desk signs for writers.

Suggested desk signs for writers.

13th Aug 2013 1,365 notes , Comments
I am now procrastinating by making signs reminding me not to procrastinate. 

I am now procrastinating by making signs reminding me not to procrastinate. 

13th Aug 2013 914 notes , Comments

Brainstorming the next book idea

Me: i wish i could just write “things that are bullshit”

Editor Meredith: so many things are bullshit

Me: SO MANY
chapter one: stupid trend pieces that get angry at 20-something women for being 20-something women
chapter two: the wedding industrial complex
chapter three: people who don’t spay and neuter their pets
chapter four: gnats
chapter five: why can’t i keep sheets looking nice?
chapter six: misogyny

5th Aug 2013 804 notes , Comments

Adult purchase of the day

From this Etsy store.

4th Aug 2013 1,128 notes , Comments

Three invaluable* adulting products

Important note: I have not and don’t ever plan on accepting sponsorship/putting ads on this blog. The sweetest swag I’ve gotten is a box of 48 rolls of toilet paper from the Toilet Paper World blog after I wrote a guest entry for them. Best swag ever

So this is nonbiased; these are just things I was deeply grateful to own this weekend:

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OxiClean powder is amaaaaazing. My white duvet was looking dingy, so I washed it in hot with a big scoop of OxiClean and now it is like a new damn duvet whereas before it had chocolate and soup on it. Pretty sure OxiClean gets whites as white as bleach AND you can use it on colors AND you can make it into a paste and scrub things with it AND it’s not terrifying the way bleach is.

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Mrs. Meyer’s Clean Day Countertop Spray in Honeysuckle: This is the first cleaning product I have ever been temped to spray on myself. That is how nice it smells. I did not think that there was a smell so nice that it would make me want to wipe things just for the scent but there you go. Maybe it’s partially cocaine, who knows.

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Voluspa candle in Laguna: I have never, ever gotten a schmancy candle, and then my dad got me one for Christmas and I was like, ok, fine, I will try this. And it makes my whole house smell like a rich intimidating lady home. The one he got me was $8; it took me seven months to go through it. WORTH IT.

*Obviously they are not really invaluable the way, say, love or friendship is. But they are worth, to me, more than what I paid for them at the store.

So. What is your favorite grown-up product?

29th Jul 2013 1,035 notes , Comments

Quote of the Day

"If you don’t get to touch it, you don’t get to talk about it."
— My friend Kim, on when it is or is not OK to talk to someone about their body. Hint: it’s usually not OK.

23rd Jul 2013 923 notes , Comments