How to become a grown-up in 468 easy(ish) steps.

Step 313: Never, under any circumstances, begin playing Cookie Clicker

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Where did the last 24 hours of my life go? What is wrong with me?

10th Oct 2013 706 notes , Comments

Some great things to have in your desk or locker at work:

  • A stick of deodorant
  • Hem tape or a sewing kit
  • A lint roller
  • Over-the-counter pain reliever. Probably ibuprofen!
  • Non-perishable, non-stinky snacks
  • Feminine hygiene product of your choice, if you are a lady. Or an over-the-top helpful dude!
  • Disinfecting wipes, so you can wipe your desk off a couple times a month.
  • Quarters
  • A travel-size toothbrush and toothpaste
  • Tissues
  • Mints or gum
  • LABEL MAKER! Ok, that one is optional, but you will be the toast of your coworkers if you are the one who can make everyone amazing labels and singlehandedly end stapler theft in your place of business.
4th Oct 2013 1,284 notes , Comments

Portland book signing: Tuesday, Sept. 17! Come and I’ll doodle you something.

Lovely readers,

I’m doing a rare book event a week from today in Portland. I guess it’s a reading, technically speaking, though I’m not sure yet what I’ll be reading. Ideally, I’d like it to be all of us confessing our adult failures, followed by swapping stain removal strategies and hookup etiquette tips, but we’ll see.

It’s happening at 7 p.m. on Tuesday, Sept. 17 at Annie Bloom’s Books, a great independent bookstore in Multnomah Village. 

So yeah, come on out, meet me and Boyfriend Dave in person and get a personalized Mean Person Jellyfish doodle.

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10th Sep 2013 55 notes , Comments

Unrepentant nerdery

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GUYS. Remember how, last year, I helped put on a giant live-action version of the Oregon Trail computer game? WELL IT IS HAPPENING AGAIN. Sept. 21, in Salem, Oregon. $30 for a team of four. Here are some rad pictures to tempt you:image

Bury the ill-fated fifth member of your wagon party, then sing a sad funeral dirge of your own invention!

imageGo hunting for college students dressed as bison with Nerf guns!

imageRaft a river of Derby girls armed with pool noodles!

And much more, including — new this year! — Miss Milly’s Saloon, Dance Parlor and Arm Wrestling Emporium. You can also pet some barnyard animals, or listen to live music or do old-timey crafts or learn about history because it takes place at a super neat museum!

Hopefully this has convinced you. Website is here; tickets are available here, and if you want to volunteer, shoot me an email at oregontrailgamelive@gmail.com

3rd Sep 2013 591 notes , Comments

Adult question: How to get cheap business clothes?

Katie asks: Where would you suggest buying cheap adultish clothing?  I have to start going on job interviews and I’m at a loss.

So your first, best bet is this: if you live in a city, chances are VERY good you have a benevolent wealthy-lady association, like the Junior League. They often run thrift shops; the one in New Orleans was my go-to spot for Ann Taylor skirts with the tags still on for $7. Goodwill and Salvation Army boutique stores are also a great bet; they’ll be more expensive than normal Goodwills, but are also better-organized and have higher quality stuff.

Remember that when it comes to work outfits, particularly if you’re 22, no one expects you to have a closetful of suits. If you can get some *nice* basics — a black pencil skirt, black pants, grey pencil skirt, navy slacks and a blazer that looks nice with all these things — then you can get a lot of milage by mixing those with cheaper tops.

Remember that dresses are great, as they are just one item of clothing, and nicer-looking/conservative accessories (think pearl studs earrings and a strand of smaller pearls) dress a lot of things up. 

Finally, nice shoes make any outfit look better. I always find a lot of Nine West/Aldo/etc. mid-priced shoes for $14 a pair at Ross.

Hope this helps!

23rd Aug 2013 495 notes , Comments

Step 312: Not all voices are equally relevant in a conversation

Remember:

If you are a member of a group that has privilege, and someone who does not have that privilege is good enough to be explaining their experience to you, just be quiet for a second and listen.

Really! Just for the duration of this conversation, you do not need to relate their experience to yours, or take apart what they are saying based on your own opinions, or dissect what this means to you or for you. It’s OK! You will survive without interjecting yourself and your thoughts on race/gender/sexuality/ability whatever into what this person is trying to tell you.

22nd Aug 2013 1,311 notes , Comments
Suggested desk signs for writers.

Suggested desk signs for writers.

13th Aug 2013 1,366 notes , Comments
I am now procrastinating by making signs reminding me not to procrastinate. 

I am now procrastinating by making signs reminding me not to procrastinate. 

13th Aug 2013 916 notes , Comments

Brainstorming the next book idea

Me: i wish i could just write “things that are bullshit”

Editor Meredith: so many things are bullshit

Me: SO MANY
chapter one: stupid trend pieces that get angry at 20-something women for being 20-something women
chapter two: the wedding industrial complex
chapter three: people who don’t spay and neuter their pets
chapter four: gnats
chapter five: why can’t i keep sheets looking nice?
chapter six: misogyny

5th Aug 2013 811 notes , Comments

Adult purchase of the day

From this Etsy store.

4th Aug 2013 1,143 notes , Comments