There is a special pain that comes the moment after you have gotten some of that viciously orange soup-grease on, say, your one nice shirt. You know. The one that didn’t have any grease stains, unlike everything else that was once nice.
But! Don’t throw it away. Take it to the dry cleaners.
There is a big difference between announcing to yourself that it’s going to the dry cleaners versus actually getting it there, so hang it up on your front door, and the next time you leave your house, take it with you and drop it off.
Dry cleaners are magical. They are sorcerers. They are a man on the moon. Something can seem completely unsalvageable, and not only do they fix what’s wrong with it, but they make it look new again even though it was floppy and faded and sad when you dropped it off.
Case in point: One time, I got bright lipliner all over a camelhair coat. I don’t know how I did this, even accounting for my lax stain-noticing standards, because every single panel of the coat had those cruel coral streaks. I was utilizing an ineffective problem-solving strategy (crying in the gym locker room and complaining to anyone who’d listen that I’d ruined my one nice coat) and then a kindly naked lady took pity on me and suggested I take it to the dry cleaner.
I still have that coat. Because dry cleaners operate outside normal laws of physics, at least when it comes to stain removal.
Also, you should take your nice coats to the dry cleaners once a year. No matter how dingy they look when you take them, they’ll arrive back in your arms looking brand new for the reasonable sum of, like, $16.