Anonymous asks: “How long should I wait before I tell my friend to knock off his sad, sad breakup Facebooking?
Q: My friend is posting corny “I wish I could be with you”/”I messed up”/”I miss you” pictures all over his social media pages because his girlfriend left him for what I think is the second or third time. He’s obviously hurting right now, but this whole thing is making him look selfish and clingy. About how long should I wait until I call him on his douchey desperation?
So, first things first: people can lose their minds with sadness during a breakup. Believe me! I know! You can be sadder than ever seemed possible. That sadness fills your sky and darkens everything and you just bumble around, smacking into and falling over everything. A breakup can make the sanest among us reach new heights in pathetic ridiculousness.
But … but. Someday, your friend will not feel the way he does right now. But those status messages, like everything we tell the Internet, will live on and on.
Edit: If you aren’t close friends, you should probably just hide his updates and leave him be.
But if you *are* close, here’s what I would say:
"Friend? I know you’re really hurting right now, and I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. You have a right to feel and say these things, but I think instead of broadcasting them to hundreds of people — friend, acquaintance and work colleague alike — you should say them to someone, and say them privately.
You can call or text or email me, or [mutual friend, mutual friend, relative he is close to]. And then, if you REALLY need support from a larger network, you can post a cry for help on Facebook.”
And … I’ll just leave this here.