(this graphic is a lie. But I really wanted to make it.)
I got my first upset comment yesterday on this post — frankly, I’m shocked anything online could pass three months without a critique, so I’m chalking it up to a win.
Catty much? How is attacking Zooey Deschanel (or any other woman) on your blog “adulting?” Grow up.
I was a little tempted to write something snarky back to this, even though that wouldn’t be grown-up at all. But then I saw ireallylovesandwiches’s sweet tumblr (Lion King GIFs!) and lo, the snark evaporated like sea foam in the sun. So instead, here is my thought-out response to this.
I’m not attacking Zooey. She’s cute and funny and more textured/interesting than most women in Hollywood. And this isn’t about her specifically or personally, but rather the genre of woman she tends to play.
There’s nothing wrong with an awkward, quirky, girlish appeal … if you’re a girl. But that’s not what I’m trying to foster in myself. I’ve got awkward/quirky/girlish in spades, thanks. It’s the witty competence that I’m working on.
For you see, girlishness will fade, but competence will always be useful. I don’t want my male roomies singing me a pop song that hasn’t been culturally relevant for 25 years to cheer me up because my life is so pathetically — yet endearingly! — out of control. I want to run the game. Short skirt, long jacket, etc.
Also, I don’t think ZD gives two flying fucks what I post on this blog. But Zooey, if you’re reading: I like you and wish you all the best. You’re great.
But not as great as Joan. The end.