Step 208: Other people's sex lives are none of your business
… unless you are having sex with them, in which case it wouldn’t be other people’s sex lives, it’s your joint sex life.
One of my personal heroes is Miss Manners, who is a billion times sharper, funnier and more progressive than people give her credit for. One of her books that was published in the 1980s had a great takedown for homophobia. Someone wrote in asking her what they could possibly be expected to say when introduced to a gay couple. After one of her perfectly curt answers (“How do you do? How do you do?”) she had a great line, which I’m paraphrasing since I can’t put my finger on: “I’ve come to believe there are only two kinds of people in this world — those who believe other people’s sex lives are their business, and those who know they are not.”
A non-comprehensive list of shit that is none of your business:
• Who is fucking whom
• Who likes what in bed
• How many people someone’s slept with
• What other people’s orientations are, if they’ve not felt like coming out and telling you. If they have, keep that to yourself unless you are really 100 percent sure that they are completely open and out. Don’t assume they are.
• Who might be trying to have kids, or, if they are currently pregnant, the circumstances behind which they got that way (planned? unplanned? fertility treatments? etc.)
Any that I’m missing?
