Happy Election Day, U.S. readers! Happy End of Having to Hear Every 10 Goddamn Seconds About the U.S. Election Day, non-U.S. readers!
I hope y’all voted. If not, you know, OK. That’s fine. It’s dumb, but who cares? You can be apathetic if you like.
But here is what you should not do: Be a poor, gloaty winner.
It’s fine and right to feel so so so happy if your candidate of choice wins. Just remember that their winning, by definition, means someone else’s candidate lost. And even if you think your city/state/country narrowly averted a tragedy via this candidate’s defeat, there are people out there who are mourning.
It is a hard, hard thing to feel like the rest of the country is out of step with you. There is a real pain there. Just ask 20-year-old me as I woke up crying on Nov. 3, 2004.
So be happy, with like-minded people. Pop the champagne cork, high-five, do whatever. But be aware that no matter what happens tonight, half the country will be disappointed. So ask yourself whether you really need to post that “IN YOUR FACE!!!!” Facebook update.
And if your candidate loses, whatever you do, do not follow my past-self’s lead and drink two bottles of blue Arbor Mist. That will not help.