Just when you’ve moved past the inherent weirdness of your friends’ pregnancies (You have a creature growing inside you that will eventually come out of your vagina? Really?) the baby arrives and you have to adjust all over again. You may understand in the abstract that people who have newborns are busy, but it hits home when it’s your dear friend who’s disappeared down the infant wormhole.
Nancy’s baby … dressed as a reindeer.
So once again, the brilliant Nancy (herself recently a mom) was willing to weigh in on how to be a good friend when someone has a baby:
Q: Your friend just had a baby. What do you do?
A: I think the biggest thing is that you have to accept that your friend’s life has changed post-baby, but that she still needs you. Maybe more than she did before, but in different ways. She will not be available to go to the bar with you, or maybe even to lunch.
Q: So how can you socialize?
A: If you’re a close friend in the same city, your friend will appreciate it if you come over with snacks, food, movies, whatever, but just make sure it’s at her convenience. Also, and I cannot say this enough — right after she has the baby, if you offer to come over and hold the baby so she can shower, she will love you forever.
Nancy also threw in a gentle reminder about not getting your feelings hurt:
“She will love her baby much, much more than she loves you, but that does not mean she does not love you. And she will want you to love her baby, too.”