How to become a grown-up in 468 easy(ish) steps.

Questions & Answers

Q: What is this blog’s deal?
A: This blog is about how to act like an adult even if you don’t feel like one. Which no one does, really, but some people do a better job of faking it than others. I’m not one of them, but am slowly improving.

Q: Who are you?
A: I’m Kelly Williams Brown. I’m an irresponsible reporter who lives in Oregon. 

This is me, standing by a box fan.

Q: What qualifies you to write this blog?
A: Nothing, really. I am known to overdraw my banking account in six or seven transactions of $2.18 apiece; I forget to buy cat food and give my cat tuna, which she does not like; my windowsills are never actually clean in the corners, and until very recently, my breakfast of choice was cigarettes and sugar-free Rockstar energy drink. Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night, so sure that I am not an adult and never will be. “I’m a sham,” I whisper quietly in the dark. 

But this is the thing: everyone feels like they’re a sham. Everyone feels like all around them are people who have it together, so why don’t they? Others seem to know how to actually clean their bathroom, not just spray Windex on everything and call it a day. They know what to wear to work, and how to network without looking like a needy, transparent asshole. They know how to date, and fight, and even break up, like adults. So why don’t I?

Q: Why would I want advice from you, if you’re so irresponsible?
A: It’s not coming from me. Well, some of it is, but I’ve asked lots and lots of people who are good at things — who have well-decorated houses, or successful careers, or happy relationships — how they do it, and then am regurgitating and trying to follow their advice. And I’ll be damned if my house isn’t cleaner when I do not leave to crust for tomorrow what may be wiped up today.

Q: If I do all these steps, will I be an adult?
A: I don’t know. Maybe. Your apartment will be cleaner, at least, and you won’t be dressing like a tart at work. There’s not a thing wrong with being a tart, mind you, but it’s best not to look like one at work.

I can tell you that I feel more in control and more happy when I know I’m taking the small steps to assure that I am running my life in at least a semi-orderly way. 

Q: When I comment on posts, may I be an asshole to other commenters?
A: Heavens, no. I want every single person to have their say, but … act like grown-ups. (See what I did there?) If you wouldn’t walk up to a stranger on the street and say it then don’t say it here. Cruel, off-topic or abusive comments will be deleted. 

Q: I have a suggested step, how shall I tell you?
A: Yay! Please click here.

© Kelly Williams Brown, 2011

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